the_andy: (Default)
[personal profile] the_andy
To recap the last week, for those not following my twitter/getting complained to in person.

I had my worst case of anxiety ever at work on Wednesday. I had back to back to back meetings scheduled on the day I was trying to wrap things up and leave early to pack for WisCon. I almost ran out of the office when I was done (and then camped in the quiet lobby for 5 minutes to calm down a bit).

Fortunately we planned really well this time and weren't rushed at home and got to the airport with plenty of time. That didn't get rid of my trip anxiety (which was super sensitive due to all my earlier stress), but it helped keep it in check. I still had to pace around the airport to stay calm though.

I still had some chest pain and anxiety during my first panel, but a long weekend filled with nothing but drinking and hanging out with awesome people and just not giving a shit about work was wonderful. I had pretty much no reflux and absolutely no anxiety. Which on the one hand is great, on the other demonstrates how easy it is for my brain to fuck up my body.

My panels went ok, I think (since I'm not going to read any writeups of them). I did way less partying this year, both because beer can often bother my reflux and because Jess didn't need a wingman. And we had a pretty solid bar in our room, so it's not like I needed the parties to unwind at night.

Having a room to just me and wrdnrd was kind of nice (no pants! the toilet paper lasted all weekend! I didn't have to threaten anyone with a knife to get the AC set where I need it!), but also kind of lonely. I miss the planning to cover diverse panels and then report back to the team. Also, it's nice to sleep in, but without roommates stomping about it's easy for us to sleep in too much.

On Tuesday I woke with a little pain, either due to the single malt that ended the night or just the first stirrings of trip anxiety. Throughout the day the anxiety and associated pain ebbed and flowed, and mostly just made me uncomfortable (and a bit of an asshole to wrdnrd at the airport).

Felt better for a little while on the bus home, then just had a mental collapse as my body realized how worn out all the travel and anxiety had made me. Food and sake have made it better, though now I'm struggling with the memories of coming home from WisCon last year. I think I made enough posts about what we went through with Ed, so I'm not going to do it again here.

I think we're skipping WisCon, and most travel for that matter, next year. I've always had issues with anxiety when preparing for trips, but everything in my brain is way worse right now. This is a travel heavy year and I think I just need to spend more time relaxing.

Date: 2012-05-30 05:49 am (UTC)
littlebutfierce: (natsume yuujinchou nyanko fly)
From: [personal profile] littlebutfierce
Stomping? Stomping?!? I think you mean "flitting about delicately & gracefully," don't you?

I hope the anxiety gives you a rest for a while, ugh. :/

(& also I hope it isn't too horrible when you come over to these parts ;____; )

Date: 2012-05-30 08:04 am (UTC)
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
From: [personal profile] sasha_feather
I will miss you wrdnrd next year! Sake-con was awesome!

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